Random Academy
by shia1kazuto3
Summary: what would happen if me and a friend fell into the vampire academy story? alot of random stuff that's what! this is just for fun so please humour me. warning some coarse language.
1. Chapter 1

Random Academy

**Warning! This is just random crap. The only reason I'm writing this is so that I can be rachiee-ivashkov's beta. I do not own vampire academy. This is my third fanfic but I don't really count the other ones so please be kind. PLEASE REVIEW^_^**

CHAPTER 1: WHEN RANDOM THINGS HAPPEN

"Hey, have you read the Vampire Academy books?" Rachiee asked excitedly.

I turned towards her.

Sure I had, well, just not the second and fourth ones. Yeah that's right, I only read the first and third books, that's how awesome I am. (P.S. that's for real)

"Yeah, why?"

"I LOVE ADRIAN!!!!!" she screamed like the raving loser she was obsessed with.

Sorry Adrian fans, but I don't like the Adrian dude. (Joking^_^, me lov him!)

"Yeah and what about it?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Well, the next books coming out really soon and I'm so excited" the other girl smiled.

Her grin was so wide I could probably have fit twelve bananas in there and still have room to fit in a Mack truck. I smiled back at that.

"I Know"

"So, let's go to the bookstore and order copies today after school"

I don't know why but... I agreed.

"Alright"

* * *

_Later that day._

Rachiee was chattering along beside me as we walked down the road to the bookstore. I wasn't really listening because it was probably about Adrian. I think I heard her say his eyes were awesome at least 150 times by the end of the first five minutes. I don't have a clue how someone can be obsessed like that.

Well at least...what?

Something made a retarded noise in front of me.

I looked up.

"LOOK OUT!"

Suddenly Ash Ketchup... I mean ash Ketchum and Pikachu randomly jumped out of the bush that just happened to be close by us and charged at us like psycho teddy on drugs!

"It's Jessie and James in disguise!" he yelled.

I stared at him like a freak and wondered who the hell he was calling James because; let's face it I'm the more feminine of Rachiee and me.

Yes I do realise I'm a bad friend... oh well.

"Pikachu, attack!" Ash pointed with a fake anime finger at us.

"What!?" I stuck my hands up "this is some kind of mistake!"

The yellow rat's cheeks sparked and the signature cry filled the air.

"PI-KA-CHUUU!!!"

Electricity burst from its body and zapped both me and Rachiee.

I let out a scream as we were both flung into the air like popcorn. I couldn't help but say the most ironic thing.

"TEAM ROCKETS BLASTING OFF AGAIN!" Rachiee just happened to say it at same time as me.

I glared at her.

What a copier, that was my line.

Out of the blue I found us being pelted by hail. Wait, why were we still flying, why was it snowing and what the fuck was up with those Pokémon cosplayer's?

I whipped up and was struck straight in the face by a massive water balloon.

What the fuck? A water balloon, where the hell did that come from?

Suddenly I found my eyelids getting heavy, my vision blurred. I closed my eyes and everything went dark…

* * *

I blinked open my eyes at the worst moment possible. I was somehow still falling, except now I couldn't see a thing- which wasn't that surprising. I could hear my scream echoing around me. Where was I? Was I dreaming or what?

I clipped something hard with my hip and went spinning down in agony.

"AAAHHHHH-!" I was suddenly cut off when I finally crashed into something soft.

And oh it was nice and soft. I wasn't a bit frightened by it at all; in fact I didn't even bother to check what it was or get off it. The feeling was warm and I clutched on tight to the silky material that hung off the thing. There was the thick smell of cigarettes and alcohol, but who cares.

I let out a sigh. I don't want to let go now.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" I sexy male voice asked.

I peered up and came face to face with a sexy, brown-haired, green-eyed man, who did I mention was extremely sexy. My jaw fell open and snapped off, rolling onto the floor. My eyes popped out and joined my jaw. The guy flashed me a charming grin and I felt my cheeks flush.

"I'm Adrian Ivashkov, who may I ask you are, beautiful lady?"

No freaking way!!!

* * *

**short chapter, the next one will be longer. i promise. dont forget to review. creative critisim is always helpful^_^**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, thanks everybody! Wow, a lot of people like my story, that's amazing. Anyway we're going to get more into the story now. Hope you like. Also I have a poll out now on what to write next so please check that out. Don't forget to review! **

CHAPTER 2: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?

What the hell?

I stared at the guy I was sitting on.

Was this for real? Adrian, as in Adrian from Vampire Academy.

No way.

"Y...you're kidding right?" I asked, my voice shaking.

He tilted his head and gave me a confused look.

"Why would I lie?"

I shook my head; this was a dream, a dream...

"Hey, what are you doing?" a girl called from behind me.

I turned to face her and gaped. The girl wasn't much older than me, maybe a year or so and she was hot. No, I'm not, like, into girls but darn this girl has a body. Nice curves, pretty skin, everything I wanted to be. Wait... what am I saying, I'm prettier. The girl looked me up and down with an eyebrow raised.

"Adrian this is a school, can't you at least have the decency to take your bimbos to your room" the girl glared at the guy.

What the fuck? Did she just call me a ho? Well, excuse me, I just got here and this is the way I'm treated.

I frowned and mentally stabbed the bitch.

"What did you just say?" I inquired with a devilishly sweet tone, hiding my pure rage.

The girl ignored me and turned towards Adrian completely.

"Get her out of here before the teachers see"

"Oh, little dhampire, why, she goes here doesn't she, I mean, she did fall over the railing" he pointed to the veranda above.

I followed his hand and say the horrid thing. So that was what I hit, how did I even survive that fall.

"What are you talking about, I don't go here, I go to CHS, in Australia (love Australia), where am I?"

Both of them looked at me like I was retarded. The girl sighed and rubbed the back of her head.

"Are you drunk, did he get you drunk?" she asked.

"What? No, I was walking to the bookstore with my friend..." I gasped.

Oh my god, Rachiee. How could I forget (easily actually), I need to find her.

"Have you seen my friend?" I looked desperately at the people around me.

"I think you hit your head"

I jumped to my feet and peered around. The place was dark, it was night time. The buildings around me were set up like a school campus. The air was quite cold so I'm guessing it was autumn.

"WHERE AM I AND WHO ARE YOU?" I demanded.

The girl sighed again.

"I'm Rose Hathaway and you're at St. Vladimir's Academy"

AAAHHHHH!!!!! No way, no way, no way!!

Either these people are, like, obsessed cosplayer's or… I'm actually in Vampire Academy.

Nah, this is just some misunderstanding.

"Ha ha that's really funny" I laughed at myself almost believing something crazy like that could happen.

The Rose cosplayer gave me a strange look like she thought I was high or something.

"I think you should go home now" she said quite harshly.

"Yeah, when I wake up" I let out a fake yawn.

I got a confused look from both the people around me.

"Ok, sorry Adrian but I'm taking your girlfriend to Kirova"

The Rose girl grabbed my arm and pulled me up with an iron fist. I yanked back but didn't even budge from the girls grip. Scary!

"Aw! Let me go!" I hissed.

I was ignored so I looked at the extremely hot guy behind me. I batted my eyelashes innocently.

"Won't you help me?"

He just smiled.

"As much as I'd like to, I don't want to get in the way of my sweet little dhampire tonight, as much as I'd like to do that too"

I made a face.

What the fuck? Am I not, like, the sexiest girl around here (that's right, I'm hotter than Rose) this guy should be trying to help me. Isn't that what happens in these kind or books. God, why is no guy that's mega, super hot coming to my rescue when its quiet obvious I'm in danger here? What if this Rose girl is a Rapist? Don't people think about these things anymore?

"Let go!" I snarled.

The Rose girl just rolled her eyes at me like she dealt with things like this every day although I suspected that it was her getting in trouble more than helping people.

"BITCH!" I screeched as I tried to slap the other girl.

And darn I had so underestimated her. She reacted in milliseconds and twisted my arm around behind my back in one swift movement. It was as if she wasn't even human!

"This is harassment!" I cried.

"Do I look like I care" Rose sighed.

We suddenly stopped outside a door and I stumbled on an invisible rock. There was a scary aura coming from inside. And I don't mean little scary, I mean CARZY, PSYCHOPATH, EVIL-I-KILL-YOU, WHT, kind of scary. The other girl didn't even bother to knock and barged into the room dragging me behind her like a spare limb. Instantly everyone in the room looked up and an oldish lady snapped her neck up so fast I could hear the sound of it breaking. It was really a shame when her head didn't fall off.

"What do you want, it's past curfew" the hag grumbled in an agro voice.

"This girl needs help" Rose sighed again.

I looked around and the first distinctive thing I saw was an uber, mega hotty with dark hair. Yummy, baby, dame I want some of that. He glanced at me for a moment but then, unfortunately, turned to the Rose girl, which I'm still cuter than.

"What the fuck" I swore out loud.

There was a gasp in the room. It was as if they never heard the f word before.

"S…Shia!" a shaky voice that I recognised called.

I peered behind the uber hotty and saw the most retarded thing that had happened so far.

"RACHIEE!!!" I gaped.

This is so not original!

**Thanks for putting up with my crappy writing, seriously, I said this chapter was going to be longer but it wasn't, well it was, but not by as much as I would have liked. Anyway, I found Rachiee, what will happen next and who's the uber hotty, find out in the next chapter! Don't forget to check out the poll and REVIEW! (Honestly, if I don't get at least five reviews a chapter I'm not posting the next one, yes I'm bitchy like that)**


	3. Chapter 3

**REPOSTED THIS CHAPTER! Hello everybody! Welcome to the third chapter of random academy. Don't forget to review and check out my poll (I fixed it if you couldn't find it before, it's on my profile). **

**Let's recap. Last time on random academy:**

_"S…Shia!" a shaky voice that I recognized called._

_I peered behind the uber hotty and saw the most retarded thing that had happened so far._

_"RACHIEE!!!" I gaped._

_This is so not original!_

CHAPTER 3: sometimes the truth hurts

"Omg! Rachiee!" I scream, running up to her and hugging her, well, trying to, I hit a hump in the floor and fall on my face.

Hard.

I climbed to my feet and flung myself into the air like a spastic bird goon retarded. Then I turned back to Rose. She was gapping at the uber hotty.

Oh…

Oh, back off bitch!

He's gonna be mine... someday! I reach out and stroke his cheek.

She shivers.

Oh yea, take that, bitch.

I swear I could feel the steam coming out of her ears.

"P…Please... help me. I'm so lost", I said, looking up at him adoringly and confused.

"Oh please, Shia, he's not interested. Remember? He loves her" Rachiee said, coming over and pulling me off the.

Oh man, she's gonna pay for that.

"NNNOOOOO!!!!! WHY IS LIFE SO UNFAIR!" I wailed.

"Who the hell are you people and why are you saying my students are in love with the guardians!!!!" screamed that bitch Kirova.

"Was I talking to you?" I yell back at her, giving her the evil eye.

"Shia, calm down, you know how she is, and we don't want trouble and someone potentially killing us. I just wanna no... Where's Lissa... and more importantly, ADRIAN!" Rachiee's eyes went wide with sudden realization

"How the hell do you know so much about us!" group of people around us looked confused.

"Because I love you guys" she yells back, pulling out all four Vampire Academy books from her bag, and throwing them on the table.

"Omg... you read CHAPTER books? Asked rose, in aww sort of way.

"You carry those around?" I twitched my eye.

"Well, yeah, I'm in love with Adrian Ivashkov!" Rachiee squealed like a demented fangirl.

My eye twitched again.

Suddenly there was a gross choking sound from behind the door and all of a sudden the door swung open and the very person we were talking about walked in. Before I could react, before any of us could react, Rachiee leapt towards the hottie with lightning speed and tackled him to the ground.

This all happened in about 1.2 seconds... scary.

"Rachiee!" I screamed.

"OMG, I LOVE YOU ADRIAN!!!!" the other girl shrieked while bashing the poor guy into the ground.

Everyone gasped like stunned mullets. Then, randomly, Rachiee kissed the boy.

"Ew!" I made a face.

My lips are still virgins; they should not be subjected to this kind of behaviour. Ew, I think I just saw tongue. Ew there's hand action (I have no idea what hand action is by the way). EW!

...

...

...

WTF!

"Ahh!!" rose screamed.

"What the...?" the uber hottie frowned.

"This behaviour is unacceptable!" Kirova yelled.

"Why couldn't I fall into another story, like -man, at least I know what that's about!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at me.

"That's right... this is vampire academy" Rachiee, who had detached her lips, almost whispered.

Rachiee jumped to her feet and walked over to the old bag at the desk, totally forgetting about the whole kissing incident. The woman looked up at her with a bit of worry in her ugly, wrinkly eyes. They actually reminded me of a fat rolls… random!

"Ok, this is a awesome opportunity so… all of you need to read these books"

* * *

_An hour later_

"THERE WAS A LUST CHARM!!!" Kirova clutched her face in horror.

"HOW MANY SEX SCENES!!!!" the uber hottie yelled.

"…" Rose didn't say anything and was slightly red in the face.

"Oww, I don't get to be with my cute little dhampire!!!" Adrian complained.

"This is not happening, this is not happening…" I kept repeating as I rocked back and forth in the corner of the room. It was sort of like one of those psycho kids for horror movies.

"This is so awesome" Rachiee smirked.

After everyone had flipped through the books there was an awkward silence.

"Well…" Kirova started, "it looks like these girls will be staying with us until we can get them home, although I don't think that is possible with all they know about us"

"Yes!"

"NO!"

Rachiee looked at me.

"What's wrong, I thought that you would kill to fall into a story?"

"I would, if it was -man and this is far from it!"

"What the hell is -man?"

"IT'S -MAN! And it is the most awesome anime ever in the history of anime!"

"Oh, so it's that cartoon crap you like to draw"

My mouth flung open.

There is no way Rachiee just said that.

"DON'T DISRESPECT -MAN, IT'S AWESOME!"

"What is this cartoon you're talking about?" Rose raised an eyebrow.

I turned towards her, an evil grin spread across my face.

"Mmwwhhaaaa"

"Wtf!"

"Ah! Um… sorry about that" I coughed and frowned.

Ok I don't know why I'm going to explain fictional character to other fictional characters but that's how fucked up this world is.

"Well…" I never got to finish.

An explosion echoed through the room and the door –for, like, the fifth time- swung open with a thud. A figure stalked through the dust. Then I gasped there was something familiar about this person, something but…

"OMFG!" I shrieked as I figured it out.

This person was…

**That's it for now, thanks for reading. Don't forget to review and participate in the poll. What will happen next time in random Academy? What made the explosion, who is this mysterious new person and where is my cookie? Find out next time in Random Academy.**

**p.s. don't forget to check out ****through the shadows, into the light ****by Rachiee-ivashkov**

**REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi, hi, hi, you have just chosen to read Random Academy the awesomest fanfic ever. Please review and participate in the poll (it's about what I should write next). **

Recap:

_An explosion echoed through the room and the door –for, like, the fifth time- swung open with a thud. A figure stalked through the dust. Then I gasped there was something familiar about this person, something but…_

"_OMFG!" I shrieked as I figured it out._

_This person was…_

CHAPTER 4: uninvited guests

I covered my mouth for the sudden toxic fumes. What the hell was going on? I peered through the dust at the figure that had randomly appeared.

They got closer.

Closer.

Closer.

Closer.

Closer AND OH MY GOD IT'S EDWARD CULLEN!!!!!!!

"I say, where am I?" he coughed weakly.

The next second I found Dimitri flying into the air with a big steak… I mean stake, in his hands and he was going straight for Edward's heart.

"Wait, he's not…" both Rachiee and I began.

CRUNCH!!

It was too late, the uber hottie plunged the wood into Edward's chest and he crumbled onto the ground spasming.

"Well… you might as well finish the job" Rachiee sighed.

"YEAH!!! RIP HIM APART!!!" I cheered.

I received a weird look, but never the less Dimitri ripped the dying Edward to shreds.

"Woohoo, YEAH!!" I whistled (yeah, I hate Twilight).

"Cough, cough, oh, Edward who is the most perfect ever, where are you? You've been goon for like 0.2 seconds, why haven't you called me?" I familiar whiny voice cooed.

Can you guess who it is? Yep, BELLA CULLEN!!!!

"OMG! STRIGOI! STRIGOI!" Rachiee and I pointed fingers at the idiot who had just walked in (yep, Rachiee and I hate Bella the most, she's an idiot).

This time it was Rose who leapt into action and whipped a stake out of nowhere.

"Like, what's that? Edward where are you?" Bella said dumbly as she stumbled a bit.

CRUNCH!

The beast is down, I repeat, the beast is down!!! (Crowd cheer in the background).

"Aw! That, like, hurt, Edward will make you pay"

"Oh shut up!" I walked over and pulled her head off.

I looked inside and guess what… it was empty. That just goes to prove that Bella was so dumb that she didn't even get any saw dust. Slow much!

"What the? Isn't this suppose to be Vampire Academy, why are Twilight characters here?" Rachiee frowned like this was really retarded.

"What's Twilight?" Rose asked.

"It's the worst books you'll ever read" I informed her truthfully.

"Oh"

Cough, cough, suddenly came from the hall way –again.

"Oh my god, how many people are going to barge in here?" I complained.

Amazingly there was still a thick amount of fictional dust in the air so naturally I couldn't see who it was clearly until they got close.

Closer.

Closer.

Closer.

Closer (didn't we just read this before *points up*?).

And OMG I know this person!

I start hyperventilating.

OMG, OMG, OMG!!! This can't be happening.

This person is…

"ALLEN WALKER!" I screamed like the guy was a million dollar note.

"Huh?" he looked at me with wide eyes.

"Who the?" Rachiee peered.

"I can't believe this is happening! I knew that something good would eventually happen! Now god has blessed me with ALLEN FREAKING WALKER! OMG your crown clown looks so cool in real life, OMG your mega hot in real life! OMG, OMG!!!" I laughed excitedly.

"What?" everyone said including Allen.

"You are into old men, that's just wrong" Rachiee pretended to spew.

"He's but 15yr old"

"16 actually, my birthday's in November" Allen corrected.

"Whatever"

I rummaged through my bag and pulled out my complete -man book series and slammed it on Kirova's desk with a thud.

"Allen Walker is the best! It's all written in -man!" I said proudly.

"And you told me off for carrying around four books, you have, like, twenty" Rachiee raised an eyebrow.

"Um… look I don't know how you know my name, but have you seen a thing that looks like an angel around here?"

"Ooohhh! Are you talking about a level three?" I asked eagerly.

"How did you…" he frowned.

"I know everything about you, hell I even have all your DVD's," I pulled them out of my bag as well, "do we have a DVD player here?"

"Sure, just there" Rose pointed to the corner of the room.

I ran over and put in the first disk while everyone stared a little confused. I pressed play and the first episode started. Everyone watched.

"This is your stupid anime stuff" Rachiee screwed up her face.

"It's the best" I put my hand up.

Allen Walkers mouth fell open as he watched the DVD.

"What… what is this contraption and why am I on it? That stuff happened months ago didn't it, why, how are we seeing it now?" he asked in fear and shock.

"It's called animation, moving pictures" I said slowly and he nodded. "Oh yeah your from the Victorian era aren't you?"

"Aren't I still there?"

"Nope, you're in the 21st century"

Allen looked like he was about to pass out.

"Ok… now this is just weird" Rachiee raised an eyebrow and everyone else appeared to agree too.

Yeah, actually, I do agree. This has to be some really fucked up dream or something. There is no way this is real. Yep, this can never happen… but I better make sure right? Yes, I should.

I leapt like the world champion of long jump and grabbed Allen Walker into my embrace. Before he could react I acted like Road in chapter 110 and kissed him straight on the lips.

Yummy, dust flavour… joking, it's more like strawberry flavour, like really, really sweet and at first he tried to pull away, but then I found him kissing back. Wow, he is such a good kisser; I could kiss him all day (now my lips aren't virgins-_#). Well I would have if we hadn't been disturbed.

"Uhm and you went 'ew' at me" Rachiee snickered.

I pulled away and blushed. Allen was as red as a tomato.

"I was just checking something out, like, if this is for real" I looked at Allen "and obviously it is" I smiled.

"Aha, I could have told you that"

"Just trying for myself"

There was a short silence.

"I cannot believe this is happening" Kirova slapped her forehead.

"…"

"Um, do you know how I can get back home?" Allen finally asked.

"Sorry sweetheart, it looks like your staying here" I made out that it was fact even though I didn't know for sure –I defiantly don't want him to leave anytime soon.

"Oh"

"I bags staying with Adrian!" Rachiee volunteered all too cheerfully.

"… I suppose having a sexy lady like you in my room wouldn't be so bad" Adrian winked.

I heard Rachiee go 'yes' under her breath.

"No, there will be no such thing" Kirova said firmly.

"Oh, pleaassee!" Rachiee begged, grovelling on the ground.

"No, you will stay with Rose and so will you" Kirova glanced at me when she said that.

"But…" I want to be with Allen is what I wanted to say.

"No, and as for this new boy, well, he can stay with Adrian for now"

"What that's so unfair" Rachiee and me said in sync.

"My decision is final"

We both pouted. This is so unfair.

"Now, it's late and by all means we should all be in bed" Kirova stood up and I swear I saw her crack all her bones. "Now off with the lot of you"

"So, I've never heard of anything like this" Rose said as she led us to the dorms.

"I know, but I'm so happy it happened" Rachiee chirped happily.

"I am now" I smiled as I reflected on my kiss with the teen heartthrob Allen Walker.

"Well, I think we will be able to sort everything out tomorrow when everyone is refreshed, don't you, not that I really care" Rose sighed.

"Yea…"

"ROSE WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU THIS WHOLE TIME, I WAS SO WORRIED. THEN WHEN I HEARD YOU WERE IN KIROVA'S OFFICE AND THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION…"

Standing before me was none other than Lissa Dragomir –the beautiful moroi princess (whom I'm still prettier than).

She caught sight of me and Rachiee and froze.

"Who are these two?" she asked in a friendly tone.

"OMG! It's Lissa, hi, I'm Rachiee and it's so cool to finally meet you!" Rachiee reached out and shook the poor girl's hand –nearly ripping it off.

"Um" she said.

I might as well introduce myself as well.

"Hi, I'm Shia" I didn't bother shaking her hand.

"Hey, Lissa, sorry, I was dealing with these two" she motioned at us. "Their… ah… new students."

"Oh, so which school did you transfer from" Lissa asked like she suspected nothing.

"Um… were from…" I struggled.

"Were from Hogwarts" Rachiee quickly finished.

I gave her a strangle look and smiled awkwardly. There was no way this girl would fall for something like that, I mean, who doesn't know Hogwarts.

Lissa thought for a moment then smiled.

"I haven't heard of that school before, but welcome anyway"

Oh great now I'm surrounded by idiots, can my life get any more retarded.

"Hey guys…"

Who the?

**To be continued. I'm so unoriginal, I end every chapter the same, please forgive me *bow*. So Allen Walker appeared and we killed Edward and Bella Cullen… next time on Random Academy who is the person saying hi? How will we fair living at 's? And how will we survive training?*hint, hint***

**Find out next time. Don't forget to Review and participate in the poll!!!**

**p.s. don't forget to check out ****through the shadows, into the light****by Rachiee-ivashkov**

**REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Welcome everybody to the fifth chapter of Random Academy. So sorry for all the spelling mistakes and errors in the last chapter, wrote it really late at night, like, 10 pm (and I want to be a beta-_#). Don't forget to review and participate in the poll. Not a lot of people have participated which makes me a little sad… oh well.**

**Recap:**

_Oh great now I'm surrounded by idiots, can my life get any more retarded._

"_Hey guys…"_

_Who the?_

Chapter 5: fictional boys make me feel better

Before us stood a dark haired hottie – why are all these people mega hot? Are there no ugly (normal) people here? - And stared with his big blue eyes.

"Who are these people?" he asked.

"Oh, hey Christian, these are the exchange students, their form Hogwarts" Lissa chirped.

Oh yeah, I'm totally from Hogwarts, yeah I know magic and everything that's how awesome I am… right! Slow much!

"OMG!! CHRISTIAN AS IN CHRISTIAN OZERA???!!!" Rachiee squealed.

"Wha… what? Are you a stalker or something?" the dark haired guy took a cautious step back.

"I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!!" Rachiee screamed like a fan girl on magic mushroom who was about to sleep with her idol –male that is.

"Huh?"

"Um, I'll explain everything tomorrow" Rose tried to salvage the situation and pulled Rachiee away before she could do anything stupid.

"Ok, see you tomorrow" Lissa waved as Christian frowned with confusion.

Rose led us away.

* * *

I had the worst sleep in the world last night. The bed was terrible, the room was cold and it was so last century. I had to borrow cloths from Rose so they were way to big, which didn't even have a label… never the less at least today shouldn't be as bad – I hope.

We walked down the hall thingy and guess what happened. That's right we just happened to run into Lissa and Christian by_ accident. _Not!! That's so typical of books.

"Morning" the blonde girl smiled.

"Yo" Christian nodded.

"Good morning!" Rachiee said, only just managing to control her excitement in seeing a hot guy and pop princess.

"Um… hi" that's what I said.

"Morning" Rose said casually.

"So, which classes do you girls have?" Lissa asked.

Oh crap, how were we supposed to know? Wait, since when did we even attend classes here? Wait, darn, why did we have to say we were exchange students yesterday? Why are we so stupid?

"They have the same classes as me" Rose saved us.

I gave her a thankful look. I don't think she saw though.

"That's cool, getting to be in all the same classes" Lissa clapped her hands together.

Doesn't she find that a bit weird?

"AAHH!!!" a masculine voice suddenly shouted.

We all whipped around to find that Rachiee had made like a ninja and was trying to kiss Christian! What the fuck????

"Ah! What are you doing!" I cried.

Luckily Rose was able to pry the other girl away before the poor guy suffocated. Lissa stared in horror.

"I am so sorry!" I apologised, "my friend has a mental disorder!" (Nice friend I am)

"I do n…" I covered Rachiee mouth before she could finish her sentence and laughed nervously.

"See, she's part crazy"

Everyone frowned at us. How shame! Rachiee owes me big time!

"Um… ok then, we better get going to class now, see you guys later" Lissa gave us one more glance before walking off.

I sighed.

"What did you think you were doing?" I shot at Rachiee.

"Hey, I love Christian too"

"WTF?"

"Don't do that again" Rose entered the conversation.

Rachiee just rolled her eyes.

"Well, I guess we better go get that other guy form Adrian, you know, the creepy one" rose flicked her hair over her shoulder.

"His name is Allen and he is not creepy, he's sexy" I hissed.

"Whatever"

Why does no one appreciate how hot Allen Walker is, I mean, everyone likes Dimitri, Adrian, Christian etc so why not my honey bunny? Life is so retarded.

As we made our way to Adrian's bachelor pad I couldn't help but notice a curtain air of familiarity. Oh yeah, this is the same place I had fell and right in front of us was the guest rooms.

I nodded to Rachiee and she nodded back. We had discussed a plan last night that involved our dream guys and now was the perfect time to put it to the test. Randomly we bolted and split up leaving Rose in our dust and confused as hell.

I ran to the right and Rachiee the left. The plan was simple, meet up at the back and burst into the room like rampaging maniacs on marijuana and magic mushroom.

Although that's not as simple as it sounds. As I was running I sort of ended up eating plenty of leaves and bark. Yummy, dirt (-_#). Eventually I did make it to the back even though I was now a fully fledged bush baby. Rachiee was waiting for me and looking like a sexy fashion magazine extract. (I'm sexier than everyone… still!)

"What took you so long, god, what happened to your face?" Rachiee inspected me from head to toe.

"It's called the scenic route" I said sarcastically.

Rachiee just rolled her eyes.

"Whatever, so are you still up for it?"

"Defiantly" I grinned evilly.

Rachiee gripped onto a random door that just happened to be there for no apparent reason other than to move along the story and smiled like she was having dirty thoughts.

I shuddered.

"Alright on three"

I nodded again.

"One… two… THREE!"

We ripped through the door and burst like popcorn into the room. As soon as we were in we instantly froze with shock –it was lucky I had carefully duck taped my jaw and head together because if I hadn't they would be rolling on the floor… for the tenth time.

Before us was the worst –and for some people, sexiest- sight I had ever seen in my life.

Adrian, in all his handsomeness, was sucking my beautiful Allen's face off. That's right. THEY WERE KISSING!!!

You know you're that fear you have of if your boyfriend –or dream guy- is gay. Well times it by ten and that's what I'm experiencing.

And the worst art was that Allen wasn't even putting up a fight. I managed to glance at Rachiee. She looked like she was about to pass out, or die!!! Although… there was a bit of fire in her eyes that were saying 'that's, like, so hot'.

I frowned.

Adrian noticed our sudden entrance and detached himself from the younger boy. Allen looked dazed.

"What... um… this isn't what it looks like" Adrian was fully aware that we had seen the kiss. "You see…"

"You bastard" I snarled.

There was a sudden flare of enragement and jealousy that mixed in my chest and I wasn't going to hold back, even if Rachiee tried to stop me.

"YOU RAPIST!!!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!" I screeched as I flung my whole body weight at Adrian.

I collided with him and we went tumbling onto the floor with a bang. I pushed my knee into his ribs and he yelped in pain. I've read a lot books with hand-to-hand fighting in them so I know well enough what to do. I clamped my hands around the guy's throat and started strangling him.

"HOW DARE YOU, JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE ROYALTY DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN HAVE ANYONE OR ANYTHING YOU WANT, ESPECIALLY NOT MY ALLEN!!!!!" I screamed.

Rachiee snapped back to life and was slapped by the epiphyte tree. She saw what was going on and tipped to tree five dollars. But because she was so distracted by the fact that she could actually see the tree she forgot that Adrian was dying because of her so call friend, me.

Luckily for her, Allen also sprung back to life and his exorcist instincts kicked him in the groin… I mean kicked into action. He wrapped his nice, strong, sexy, arms around me and pried me off the other guy before restraining me.

"LET ME GO SO I CAN KILL THE MOTHER FUCKER!!!" I protested.

"Calm down Miss, there's been a misunderstanding" he tried to reason.

"Misunderstanding? There's been more than a misunderstanding here!!"

"SHIA!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" Rachiee cried as she finally made it over to Adrian's side.

"I showed the punk not to mess with me and my guy!" I spat –not literally.

"Please calm down, it's not what you think, that wasn't kissing" Allen spun me around so that I was looking into his pretty gray eyes.

God I just wanted to melt then.

"Look, I… um… I passed out, ok?" he looked at me honestly.

I gave him a confused expression.

"Well… when I realised that this was for real I was shocked, really shocked and well, I passed out, Adrian was only trying to revive me"

I thought for a moment.

"Well… that didn't mean he had to do mouth to mouth" I pouted.

"I agree, it was a strange method, not one used where I come form but never the less, you mustn't condemn him"

That's my Allen, always looking for the best in people.

I sighed and gave him a hug which started him a bit.

"It's just that… everything here is so strange and when I wanted to meet you… I didn't think it would be for real let alone like this"

"Um…ok"

Oh boy, we are so close right now, like the closest I've ever been to a boy^_^ (bad girl). I found myself blushing like the sun on the Japanese flag. Why, oh, why am I acting like this? My personality is completely opposite.

I turned around and found Rachiee snogging Adrian. Hey, when did that happen? My face sunk.

"WTF?" I made a face.

Rachiee took a breath and looked at me with innocent eyes.

"What?"

"N…nothing" I wanted to say that that was so wrong but… what would that make Allen Walker and me?

Suddenly Rose burst into the room through the front door.

"There you are!" she yelled at all of us.

"Took you long enough" I said under my breath.

She glared at me. She must be really slow because I just nearly killed a moroi prince on a school campus. For all these people know, Rachiee and I could be some super awesome, badass, hybrid strigoi's that plan on taking over the fictional world as we know it! But no, everyone thinks it's nothing. Well they've got another thing coming! MWAHHHAAAA!!! (*mentally slaps self* stop that)

"You guys are all so annoying, now were going to be late for training" Rose grumbled as she glared at Adrian and Rachiee.

'Training?" I asked.

"Duh! You're doing the dhampire classes"

"But I don't know how to fight… much"

"Don't worry Shia, this will be easy" Rachiee waved a carefree hand at me.

Of course, she knows what this is all about. Why should she worry besides the fact that we could be killed by kids who take performance enhancing drugs? That's no big deal, right? (-_#)

"Ok"

* * *

"AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!" I screamed as my body was slammed into the ground for the tenth time.

I lay there in a fair amount of agony. A man came and stood above me.

"Come on now, this is baby stuff" grumbled Guardian Stan Alto. "You're the worst of the lot, your friend's doing better than you and that other boy is passing with ease"

"Well, I'm sorry" I sighed sarcastically.

Stan grumbled some more and walked over to see the other kids.

"Here" a hand reached out to help me.

I took it and the guy helped me up. The guy, was Eddie… something, can't remember his last name.

"Sorry for being rough on you" he smiled.

"Not a problem" I lied.

I cracked my back and gritted my teeth in pain. I was so not fine. I was about one second away for a broken rib or worst.

I looked over at everyone else. Rachiee may be bad at this but she was a hell of a lot better than me. She had ended up on her ass only half as much as me. And Allen, god he was like a fighting machine (well, technically he is), and he was beating his partner without even breaking a sweat. That asshole. And Rose was showing off all her fighting skills. That bitch.

"Want to try again" Eddie asked.

"No, I need a break" I panted as if I was about to faint.

"Ok" Eddie sighed bored.

I went and sat on a chair that happened to be there and put my head in my hands. And I wondered why I hated PE back home. Fuck PE and fuck this, it's the first day, god, haven't any of these people ever heard of taking it nice and slow. But then, everyone's always mean to the new kid(s). Don't you just hate that? I've experienced it once –twice now- and it is the most awful feeling ever. I guess it could be worst; at least I've got Rachiee – not that that's much of a step up- and Allen because he has no friends.

"You suck at this" Rachiee had made her way over to me and had her hands on her hips.

"Shut up"

"I thought you like sport?"

"Not this sport"

"Well I guess that means your fat, hey"

FAT! I am not fat, I'm skinny, SKINNY!!!!

I jumped up and could feel my face go red with anger.

"SUPER AMAZING BITCH SLAP!!!" my hand whipped around at the speed of light and collided with…

**That's it for this chapter, hope it wasn't too weird. I'm hitting someone or something and it isn't Rachiee so what is it? Find out next time. Don't forget to review and poll^_^.**

**See you next time!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi. Everybody better be bothered to review! Rachiee and I are going on strike. That's right. Strike! We refuse to write the next chapters in our stories until we get at least five reviews each!!!!!! If you love us and want more bang for your buck, you have to REVIEW!!!!!**

**Love you all and thanks for reading this far. Don't forget the poll on my profile; it's important to future events and if I don't get a lot of votes than I'll go on strike for that too.**

**Ps: if you see –man in any part of the story it means d gray man, fanfic confudged my words!**

_Recap:_

_FAT! I am not fat, I'm skinny, SKINNY!!!!_

_I jumped up and could feel my face go red with anger._

_"SUPER AMAZING BITCH SLAP!!!" my hand whipped around at the speed of light and collided with…_

CHAPTER 6: ONE DOLLAR BILL (name has nothing to do with chapter)

My hand collided with... Christians face!!!

There was a massive, gigantic smash that could probably be heard in China and a thump as the guy hit the ground.

"What the fuck!!!" he screamed, leaping back up.

"What the hell!!!" I yelled back, louder.

Oh yea, I'm louder than Christian.

"You want to kiss Me" he raised his eyebrow.

"No I do not!!!" I tell him, eye twitching.

Strange, I have a warm feeling.

"Compulsion!" I screamed as I jumped up and down like a monkey on steroids. "Christian's using compulsion!"

Rachiee walked over and Christian turned to her and.... humped her leg! Just kidding! But equally weird... Naruto jumped out of nowhere and there was a blinding flash of light and a meteor followed after him. The rabid blonde retard did a cart wheel and laughed as thought he was high – probably on magic mushroom- then, as suddenly as he had appeared, he ran out the door and into the woods. We all stared after him.

"Weird." Rachiee muttered, and then turned back to Christian.

"I knew that I didn't really wanna kiss you!!!" Rachiee yelled.

"I did not use compulsion, you know you want me!!!" Christian yelled back.

Rose walked up... and pulled off her t-shirt!!!!!

What the hell!!! Are these people insane! No normal person starts stripping in a situation like this! And why is Rachiee not making much sense anymore??? This is fucked up!!!

I peered to the side and saw Adrian staring dreamy eyed at Rose and next to him was his arch rival, Dimitri a.k.a the uber hotty I want to XXXX. Too bad he was drooling on the ground, that's not attractive. All the other guys in the room were drooling as well. Typical. They should see ME without a shirt!

Suddenly Rachiee's fist came out of nowhere and slammed against Christians face! OMG!! What the hell, she can punch? When did she learn to do that, and why didn't she beat up those stupid kids back home?? Like my brother??

Rose suddenly realizes what she's doing and pulls her top back on. Twitchy eye!! Christian falls down on the ground, unconscious.

"What the hell?" Asked rose.

Rachiee shakes her head in annoyance.

"OMG you people are sooo slow!!! In the book, you guys always missed the important things until it was too late as well" everyone just looked at her like she was crazy.

She sighed.

"Christian was using compulsion" Rachiee said slowly, so they could all understand it.

Just then Stan walks back into the room… wait, when did he leave? Isn't he suppose to be supervising… oh well at least we got some action.

"This is not a socializing place!! Back to work!!" he yelled angrily.

Man, he can be such a bitch.

Rose snorts "pe- lease, you were drooling as much s Dimitri. So stop bitching" then walks off.

Rachiee and I stay still.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? Get back out there!" Stan yelled again.

I put my hands on my hips.

"No," I tell him, "I'm bashed and bruised, and I am over it"

He glared daggers at me but I didn't care, this is bull shit!

"I told you to get back out there, now do it!" he roared at me.

What the hell is with these dhampire's and animalistic instincts? Seriously.

Rachiee steps in and pushes me back.

"Get over it! She's taking a break! She's new to this, so back off!" she screamed at him.

OMG, she is such a good friend!! Too bad she pushed me out of the way.

"What the hell? You are the worse novices I have ever had!!!" Stan looked like he would explode any second… I wonder what would be inside.

"Well what do you expect? Were fucking human!! And besides, I can still kick your arse you overgrown cockarock" she screeched at him.

Rose cracked up laughing.

"Yeah, baby, I love you!" smiled Adrian, pulling Rachiee into a kiss.

Oh god, she really knows how to go at it, then she started pulling off his shirt. I almost threw up, and decided to end it. I grabbed him by the back off the hair, and pulled him away.

" Goooo Rachiee! Kick his ass!!"?" I say, pointing Rachiee's attention back to Stan. "I would help.... but I'm fat, remember

Rachiee grinned back at me –couldn't tell if it was over kissing Adrian, thinking of me as fat or Fighting Stan that made her happy- and turned to Stan in one rapid movement and pounced on him.

I mean, she did pretty well, and at the start, it looked like she was gonna win. She broke him nose, and a few fingers, but I mean, the girl who had been fighting for 1 minute, vs. the old guy who's been fighting all his life? Well, it was pretty obvious who would win but it was still close. Stan finally got her ground to the ground, but then Kirova walked it.

"What the hell is going on here? Isn't there enough statigory rape already!" she yelled.

Rachiee took advantage of Stan as he was distraction by the old bat and went for the second weak spot… that's right she gave him a nipple cripple!! He squealed like a girl and Rachiee turned the table and pinned Stan to the ground.

"I win!" she declared happily.

Oh man, what a bitch. Allen is already a good fighter, and now Rachiee has beaten a teacher. That means there gonna expect ME to be good. Oh man, they were in for a shock.

Everyone stood with open pie holes at the fact that some weird girl had just beaten a teacher at his own game. And I gaped in fear of my epic turn that inevitably would happen… probably in a cheesy scene when Lissa is kidnapped or something (I'm so physic -_^).

Rachiee got up and flung her hair like one of those hot girls in teen movies that the guys fall head over heels for and walked over to receive her victory kiss for Adrian. Hasn't she had enough kisses for today, it's not even lunch. I glanced over at Allen. Yeah, you know what I'm thinking (-_#).

Stan, who was still on the floor like a scrub Jim, was completely traumatized. That was probably because he had never had a nipple cripple before, not even from his ex. And somehow I sense this becoming a new attack strategy… gay.

Whatever, now all I need to do is get past the last five minutes before lunch and plot an elaborate plan of action for Allen and I and that would involve the magical bushes in the made up outer campus.

* * *

_5 minutes later at lunch_

"Hey, I'm going to eat outside" I said as I got up from the table with my food, "does anyone want to come out with me?"

Everyone was too busy eating.

"I said, does anyone want to eat outside?" I repeated.

Nothing.

"Allen?"

The white haired boy looked up at me with his mouth stuffed with French fries.

"Pardon?"

"Want to eat outside?" I asked for the third time.

"No thanks"

I glared at him with evil eyes, "um, yes you do!" I said darkly.

He leaned back a bit but didn't argue with me, he's too nice for that, and grabbed his five trays of food.

"Okay, see you's later." I smiled mostly at Rachiee.

"Oh yeah, you go girl!" she winked at me and I giggled.

There was an awkward sort of silence as we walked to the desired spot and it had nothing to do with the fact that there was no one around or that I could actually hear Allen eating still.

I headed towards a spot that I had seen before and that was down near a couple of thick bushes... no one would ever see us behind them (MWHHAAAA^_^). I sat down and like a cute little puppy; Allen followed and just as I had hoped, sat next to me. I leaned in to kiss him, but just before our lips met...

Naruto jumped out of the tree above us, and kept screaming like a rabid squirrel with a rock up its ass. My face dropped and I flushed with anger. I picked up a random stone and pegged it at the blonde retard which hit in the temple.

"WOULD YOU FUCKING SHUT UP YOU RETARD!!!" I screamed.

Naruto ran off into the woods crying like a monkey. I turned back to Allen but found, unfortunately, that he had finished his five trays and was starting on mine!!!! That pig!!

"HEY, THAT'S MY FOOD!" I roared.

He looked up at me innocently with his big gray eyes, "I wasn't entirely sure whether you were going to eat that." he said honestly.

I sighed and sat back down. This was not going the way I had planned. Why do things always end up like that? Because life sucks.

"Are you alright?" Allen asked.

"No, I am not alright, this is crap! What kind of story is this? I mean, Naruto? I hate Naruto?" I huffed.

"Um... I'm not sure what Naruto is but I'm sure everything just seems bad. Back in my world there's a man called..."

"Called the millennium earl and he's trying to take over the world with akuma, yeah, yeah, I already know."

"How do you know all of this?"

"The wonder box and it's called being a nerd."

"Um... ok," he still looked confused, "there's still a lot I don't understand about this world, like this TV thing and stuff and why those kids are fighting if it isn't against the earl."

"It's to protect the moroi for the strigoi."

Wait, how did this conversation start, it isn't even funny? This is bull shit!

"Hey, maybe you could use your innocence against them." I suggested even though I knew that was the stupidest thing ever.

Just as Allen was about to reply there was a loud snapping sound and suddenly I found myself being tackled to the ground and it wasn't by Allen –something I would have loved.

"RAPE!!!" I yelled.

Who is this person who is attempting to rape me in front of my beloved Allen?

**That's right who is this person or thing... find out in the next chapter!!! Oh man, sorry it took a while to write. Lots of love for Rachiee in this chapter because she really helped me when I was stuck. *cry* I really wanted to make out with Allen. I'm really that perverted. But don't worry I'm not a paedophile –seriously, because that's just wrong. Remember to review or you won't get the next chapter! Don't forget the poll too which is on my profile!!!**

**REVIEW!!!!! POLL!!!!!**

**Btw, it is NOT meant to be cockroach. It is meant to be cockarock – Rachiee thought that was funny!**

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